Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
