Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
