yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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