and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
