new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
