so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
