So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
