I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well I can't set my house on fire every night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
