Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
