If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
40s are totally the cure
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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