so explain again why im purple
no
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
