He is an equal opportunity slut.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
