Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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