i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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