i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
