My sheets look like a crime scene.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
