I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
