There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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