when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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