I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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