Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i out mim tonsoeep
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