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• (840): View more from

  Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, if you don't take her, I will.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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• (607): View more from New York

  his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.

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• (949): View more from California

  Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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• (212): View more from New York

  him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?

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