When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
