My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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