One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
