Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
