I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
