let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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