i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
