I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Alive.
So much puke
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
