Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
