What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You brought string cheese to the strip club
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
