On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
