The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
