Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
