I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
