she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize