did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
