threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So apparently I’m into choking now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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