I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
