I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
