all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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