True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
