he wants to bone in the snuggie
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
