so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
