i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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