i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
