the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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