No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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