Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
