Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
