Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
