I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
