we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize