You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
