Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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