I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
