Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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