My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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