Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
