yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize