was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
